Like A Chump

Should I be feelin’ bad? (No)
Should I be feelin’ good? (No)
It’s kinda sad, I’m the laughin’ stock of the neighborhood
And you would think that I’d be movin’ on (movin’)
But I’m a sucker like I said, fucked up in the head (not)


Retired Groupie, Audio Recorded June 29, 2023


#001 Regretful Groupies PodCast – Like A Chump

(Uploaded to Rumble (give me a follow) – Completed Podcast August 23, 2023 – 50 minute run time.)

Podcast

I recorded this audio, on June 29th, 2023 between 2am – 3am on my iPhone, while laying in bed, with the fan on in the background and my dog occasionally interrupting.

I really hadn’t intended to use it as the actual audio. I was going to keep bits or re-record parts I thought were good. I was really just free-flowing my thoughts on being called a Groupie.

After I listened a few times to it, I decided, to use it raw like that, and just add in the visual context to back up my statements. So I added a lot of photo documentation to the video to help you follow along.


Not to B a Groupie

The main topic of this audio was me exploring the idea of my actually being nothing more than a groupie to Matthew Good. I suppose I was duped like the rest of them. Although, I honestly thought we had some kind of friendship that was better than that. Like a chump.

I explore the one time when I was called a groupie, by K on December 16, 2005. Yes, I know the date.

At the end of 2005, aside from working on The Peppersands website for Jay Slye – who was K’s old friend – K was asked if he would remix a song called “Kiss” by Catlow (another project Jay Slye is involved in.)

December 16, 2005 – Catlow was asked to be the local opener for Mark Gardener (of Ride – a UK band I loved) at a club in Vancouver, BC.

It was rare we ever left the house, and I was excited to go and be able to see the live music show given I had loved Ride‘s music since the days of 1992 when I lived with Max Murphy.

I don’t think I ever truly considered myself a groupie.

Then in 2021, I read all the claims against Matt, and saw that the methods Matthew Good had used on me starting in 1998 – he had repeated those methods, over and over, with multiple young women, over all these years.

What I thought was something meaningful – was probably actually not.

It’s a hard one to reconcile.

I have been doing a deep dive in to what makes me tick, and why I have done what I have done.

I hope you enjoy my first video.



Title was inspired by this Limp Bizkit song.

I did it all for the Nookie.


Uploaded August 23, 2023